Thursday, July 30, 2009

Past lives and other worlds..

I have always admired people who can run on a treadmill. Because I never can. Normally I walk on the treadmill. And I almost always listen to 'Brothers in Arms' while doing so. No other music album holds my interest long enough for me to burn a few hundred calories on the treadmill. I get bored easily.
So today,there I was listening to my favorite songs and panting away.And suddenly came the song 'Why Worry'. It made my heart stop just for a minute.
I was 10 when my Dad introduced me to Dire Straits. This song was a personal favorite then. It continues to remain so.
That was the beginning. And then there was no looking back.
My best pal had once gifted me a cassette back in school(yeah we had magnetic tapes with two brown spools back then! Hmmphh! Am I getting old?!!) with all our favorite songs recorded.
> Crying in the Rain
> Its yesterday Once more
> Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow polka dot Bikini
> Top of the World
> Johnny Get Angry
> California Dreaming
> Cherish
> Bridge over Troubled Water
> And the best one : That`s what Friends are for..
The tape`s old now, its reels cachectic over time. But I still have it. I still cherish it. I still listen to the songs(on youtube now).
Over the years, my taste in music has grown. From Dire Straits to The Beatles to Rabindra Sangeet to Lata`s melodies to Floyd and Led Zep to Dylan and Baez and back to good ol` country music. And then again, to some beautiful songs from unnamed bands and vocalists. But the songs I liked as a little girl, I still do.
Same for books. I could still spend an entire afternoon reading 'Anne of Green Gables', Noddy books or 'Trixie Beldon'. We never had Harry Potter back then. I still havent found the inclination to read or see any.
I still like the same food. Home made Indian meal. We never had Thai/Mexican/Greek restaurants in Ranchi. We still dont. I never knew what any other food tasted like. I still dont find much interest(though I sometimes do try out newer stuff). I disliked fruits and veggies. I still do.
I have a collection of things from the past which I cherish. Old letters. Cards. Photographs(some damaging ones too!). Crafts which I made in school. Old diaries. A paper doll house. A miniature tea set from childhood. A dried jacaranda leaf which a close pal once gave me. Old posters that once brightened up my room(one of Sachin Tendulkar too! Geez!). An old scrap book from the first years at school and a Geography project on Volcanoes done years later. Some 50-year old slender aluminum boxes for storing syringes(this one from grandpa`s collection). Zippo lighters(from dad`s). And thanks to Mom, a couple of dresses from when I was a year old and a crochet lampshade she had once made.
I still like the same people. I still dislike the same ones. I still have a couple of close friends from school. NONE from college. And a couple of recent friends who have almost become family. It`s difficult for me to go out and make new friends.
I`m still the same. Fond of dogs and radio shows. Still dislike the concept of a circus and a zoo. Still mortally scared of birds. Childishly excited at times. Opinionated. Stubborn. Angry. Never letting myself forget. Or forgive.

I sometimes wonder if it`s healthy for the human psyche to roam around with the past clinging around one`s neck like rosary beads. Gagging at times.
But then again, I feel content. Sheathed in the old dreams. Vivid. Happy. Fascinated.Sad.Scared. Roaming around the world aimlessly. Like a lost soul.
For all I know, I may have just become one...
I sometimes wonder if this is normal. If it is okay to never allow myself to grow up. Never open up to new ideas, new people, new horizons.
Is there anyone who feels the same way? Or is it just me?

All my best memories come back clearly to me.
Some can even make me cry. Just like before.

Its yesterday once more.
- Carpenters


S said...

I don't believe you still have a cassette! Wow! I love Dire Straits too and 'Cherish'...That song brings back memories...

It's good to cherish the past but holding on to it is a big no-no...Life is dynamic and one should move on...

Unknown said...

I have learnt how to run on the treadmill after a long time spent admiring those who did. That ight tell you that I try to change and pick up new things. Though some habits die hard...there are moments when I feel painfully shy just the way I did at school but...things have changed...I am evolving...and I am loving every minute of it.
Loved this piece too. But them hey whats new?? :)
Seriously are you still the same? Lets meet up I would love to see if its the same girl from school :)

Anonymous said...

I recently got my mom to take down an old bag filled with similar memories from my childhood! But to be very honest I was bored beyond reading the first five old cards and letters... so I packed them right back, sealed them as before [:)] and decided to go through them some other time... But I know I do want the collection kept safely till my old age :) I even read out some childish letters written to my dad out to my kids :)

I think we all love to cherish sweet, old memories... whether or not we find the time to go through them :)

Anonymous said...

Love the post title by the way... I first thought this was a post about reincarnation :)!

Miss M said...

I have at least 20 cassettes. In fact, when all my friends in school were using cds and cd players, I was still clinging on to my walkman. I gave up my walkman only when I entered college.

I too have old cards, letters, gifts, a lot of other things. Unlike you I do find it easy to make new friends and probably discover a whole new ME altogether. And I quite love that part actually.

Like you said, you still feel content. And that's whats most important. Feeling content and being happy with yourself and your surroundings. Even if it is just old cassettes with some good old songs.

Passionate Goof said...

Oh! What a lovely introspective post. You should blog more often lady. For my two bits of thought, as long as you are evolving as a person, your choice of music is hardly a barometer of your persona. If you love it, you do, what is the need to change? Its so sweet of you to have kept all your old stuff. I have none of it, almost none actually, but its a long story, and a sad one at that! But i do love stocking up on memories.

Renu said...

I also love all the old memories, but I am open to new things also. I have still kept all the little things of my children, though they dont want to do anything with them:) but for me they are p-leasant memories which revive me up whenevr I am down.

I always remember my past with smile , live in the present and look forward to future.

I still have video casettes, though now VCR desnt work:)

Anonymous said...

Past lives - I was thinking, she wrote about it too! Anyways, mine was about something else. :-)

Those were some beautiful thoughts in there. :-) I don't like holding on to grudges because they make me feel unhappy. I'd rather forgive n forget and not allow it to happen again!

I loved your keepsakes. I can just about hang on to a few stuffs, thanks to our nomadic lifestyle! Good post, I loved it!

Piper .. said...

Bones: Ohh I do! Infact I have quite a few of them. Some really old ones(one taped by Dad when me and sis were 2-3 years old!)dont play anymore.I`m in the process of digitalizing the tapes I have.

Chrysalis: Well, I guess I have developed new tastes over the years too. But as a person, I dont think I`ve evolved much. Yes, we should really plan on a meet-up :)

IHM: I know what you mean! I do sometimes sit and read old letters that I`d written to Mom Dad from college or some that they`d written to me. Sometimes even go through the old report cards from school! :):) I guess I really am a lil mad. The title`s not my original creation :( I had seen it in some old lyrics of a song.

Miss M: As long as I feel happy thinking about past times, I guess all`s well. But its when I just dont want to move on - that`s when trouble starts! :)

Goof: I`d like to hear your story some day. Yes, I guess reminiscing about the past sometimes has its perks! :):) shall catch up with ya on chat soon.

Piper .. said...

Renu: My mom has kept a few things from our childhood too. I`m so glad she did :) I love going over them when I have time.

Thethoughtfultrain: :):) Thanks my friend! The title is a line from some old song. I must go over your post on past lives though..

Fram Actual said...

The past is meant to learn from, I think, but not to live in or to try to re-live. People should carry mementos to remind them where they came from, and for the lessons they offer.

I would love to have a time machine, but mostly to use to witness events, not to be a part of them. I have insatiable curiosity.

Our only world is tomorrow; not yesterday.

Next week, I might offer a completely different answer.

moon said...

i also find it difficult to run on a treadmill...

Does that Cassette still Cassettes are sold these days also..And cars too come up with a slot for still not outdated...

nothing wrong in clinging to your old memories and at the same time it is good to open up for new want something to cling later on open up for new things inlife...

by the way is not Scahin too young for you..hehehehe

Piper .. said...

Fram: I guess you`re right. I do so love to reminisce about the past. BUt given a chance to switch between then and now, I guess I`d stick to now. Infact I`m positive I will.

Sunder: :) Sachin Tendulkar is a few years ELDER to me!! How old do you think I am??!!! :):)

Deeps said...

Its ok,perfectly normal to go into the reminiscing mode,Mish.If not anything,those moments make you realise how blessed you have been in your life compared so many less privileged ones!

Happy Friendship Day,my friend :))

moon said...

i was just the way Tendulkar likes older women only na?

Solilo said...

Mish, I am someone who lives in nostalgia 24/7 and I know it is not good/healthy but I still do. Not many know though. I mean even in a crowd I can go totally blank and reminisce gone years and smile.

Hugs to you and happy friendship day too.

Anonymous said...

OMG!!! I was just thinking about the old days when I heard the carpenters on the radio the other day....somehow it always takes me back to a time when you had stayed over at my place after exams....AND invariably also the "Gaaaa rahe shooraj sasi taare" episode ...HILARIOUS!Lovely post my friend.

Piper .. said...

Deeps: I know. That`s exactly what The G tells me - that I`m luckier than most :):) Happy Friendship Day to you too,my friend :):)

Solilo: yes,I`m exactly like that! Its not unhealthy as long as you`re open to newer outlooks in life,I guess.. Happy friendship day to you too babe! :)

Anon(J): :):) I know..I do think about those days at times. Life was so simple then..
Btw, the music teacher who taught us the song, do you remember her? I got the biggest scare of my life when she landed up at home one fine day for some musical that Dad was arranging! I told you about it, I guess..

J P Joshi said...

A nostalgic post. Enjoyed your flow of thought and words. I too enjoy the good old music - be it Hindi or English. Carpenter's "Top of the world" was an all time favourite for all of us bachelors way back in 1975.

I for one cherish my past but can adapt to the new equally with ease as I feel that I need to evolve every day and finally I agree with you here, "All my best memories come back clearly to me.
Some can even make me cry. Just like before.
Its yesterday once more.
- Carpenters"

Amrita said...

Hmm... a post dedicated to bits and pieces that make up life... hmm i felt relaxed reading it :)

ani_aset said...

me too me too..i still have saved the shirt i wore to school in 12th and the prayer pages of school diary

Sujata Bardhan said...

Came to your blog again while cleaning my inbox. Have you stopped writing?

Piper .. said...

Sujata: Just started again :) Hope you get to visit!