Sunday, December 23, 2007

Back Home

Hi Friends,
This is just a small note to let you all know that I`m finally back and how!! It has been one nightmare of a year for me. But now that I`m safely back home, I guess I`m prepared to let go of scary memories..atleast for the moment. And am really looking forward to spending a happy christmas and a great new year with family and friends.
I will start writing again..pretty soon, once I`ve settled down and have adjusted to the fact tht I`m am unemployed housewife(I`d like to say home-maker but I really cant :-) ) now..
Until then, Merry Christmas and a Rocking New year to you all!!

Thursday, May 3, 2007


This is a small note for my friend, without whom my stay here would not have been the same and my return more painful.
When I first met her, I was nervous as hell. The Goltin had made no bones about the fact that if I could not pass the test with her, it would be just too bad. Because she is not only The Goltin`s best friend; She`s his only family out here.
So here I was, waiting anxiously for her at a busy cross-road in Kolkata, wiping the sweat off my forehead with one hand and desperately trying to smoothen my unkempt hair with the other. Murphy`s Law at work! If something can go wrong, it will! Just when I needed to look my best, I had to have a bad hair day.
An understatment, I thought. Peering into an ATM glass door, I thought I could give Medusa a run for her money!! Muttering an abuse, i turned around to look for her and there she was. The cutest girl I`d seen in quite a while. We hit it off immediately. I stood there blabbering in all my nervousness and there she was, offering me a bottle of water to drink! Anyway, there was no looking back from that point onwards, I guess.. We got along famously.

She`s been a pillar of support throughout my stay here.

When The Goltin fell really ill and I didnt know what to do, She was there for me, calling me up a 100 times to make sure I was doing fine, advising me about how to go about things.

We`ve shared many a joke, laughed on many a gossip together.

She`s been around with a pep-talk or two always, even though she was herself going through an enormous upheaval of sorts.

And ofcourse, She`s been the most supportive and encouraging member of my `one-man blog fan club`!! Without her constant motivation, I wouldnt have been able to continue what I`ve always wanted to do..

The surprising part of it all, is that I havent spent more than two hours with her in person but I`ve grown extrememly fond of her in more ways than I can begin to explain.

You know, someone had once told me, not so long ago, that I`m just like her in more ways than one. Looking back, I can safely say that, this was one of the best compliments and the most-meant, of all those I`ve ever received in my life, coming from none other than her very husband! :-))

I cant begin to thank her enough. How do you thank someone who`s family to me?
But I would like to say just this much.

If ever you need a shoulder to lean on,
someone to talk to
or someone to simply share the silence with,
Turn around.
I`ll be two steps behind you..

Saturday, April 7, 2007


ALL Perfectionists are Wannabes . By definition.

I ain't gettin there at all.

Friday, March 30, 2007


Well, so that was that. Let the records show that, that was the first and the last of the 'mush' that The Goltin ever said to me. Well, better 'said' than never,I suppose.
We got married three days later.
The Goltin has a pathological fear of any kind of emotional display. He wouldnt ever dream of taking me out for a romantic candle-light dinner or meet up for a date with a rose in his teeth and all that - well..ahem! not even in his wildest flights of fantasy.
But I suppose I could expect him to plan a road-trip to Colorado or sit and work at a coffee shop on Thursdays so I could join him too or simply come back home early from work on a rainy day just to sit by the window and read a good book together..
And ofcourse, I can also expect him, NEVER to walk away in embarrassment, disgust or even plain disbelief,when I`m out being myself in public :-)
Like the time, he came over and put an arm over my shoulders by way of support, when, I, in all my sophistication,had said to the much bewildered waitress at the counter , " HERE on vacation, WILL GO back later" , when asked the 'now-understood' question.
(here or to go??!!!! why cant they simply ask 'parcel?' like they do back home)..
My life`s changed ever since I met The Goltin.. He makes me want to be a better person..

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Something that I`d writtten when i was single and by myself..

I`ve been around for some time now - 28 years to be precise. At times being dragged. But mostly,I have been running alongside the wagon they call Life, trying to lose unwanted load as i ran along. You see, that makes running easier.
Strange as it may sound to people who know me - being the bold , outgoing , outspoken person I am - I have no friends. Colleagues plenty. Acquaintances few. Relatives plenty, 'well-meaning' ones few.
Am i a loner then? Yes, of sorts..
I dont go out of my way to make friends. Never have. never tried to be popular. Never was :-)
I have been content living my life on my own terms and doing my own thing - always.
People say its a crazy way to live. But that`s the only way i know. Or none at all...
Oh, like most women, I`ve been through a fair share of upheavels in my life - some trivial enough for me to forget. Some more profound than I ever thought I was capable of handling. But in the end, I have come out fine - alive and still running..
I`ve also had my share of relationships - too meaningless and trivial to still reminisce. And now, there are no emotinal confrontations. For once, there is this detachment which gives me space to breathe.
Sometimes the loneliness in there seems large and looming and i almost want to walk away from all that space.. But i choose to continue. Because for once, I am happy...
I have always considered myself to be a New-Age Woman. Most people are scared of the New-Age Woman. She is single and opinionated. She earns more than most men. She swears. She works hard and likes to party harder. And she doesnt care for what the world thinks of her. I think I am a New-Age Woman :-)

... to be contd in another blog..


I come from an obscurity called Ranchi.. the ol` summer capital of Bihar,now basking in its own warmth as the capital of Jharkhand.The imperial child of the river Swarnarekha. And I am the sunshine from there. Where the ripples are still called waves and its important to know the difference between a pasture and a meadow. Where people still tell the time by the cloud colour and gather at neighbourhood 'chai' stalls to catch up on the day`s gossip.
My verses will be an attempt to search for spaces where the division between father-child, day-night,master-slave,man-woman blur into incognizance, where hope is eternal and reality ephemeral..