Monday, August 17, 2009

I, Me, Myself..

After almost a span of five years,I have again felt this need to read 'The Fountainhead'. For me, it is therapeutic at many levels. It has always been.
(For the uninitiated, Ayn Rand is a Russian-American Philosopher/Novelist who developed the theory of Objectivism.)

"My philosophy, in essence, is the concept of man as a heroic being, with his own happiness as the moral purpose of his life, with productive achievement as his noblest activity, and reason as his only absolute." -Ayn Rand

Ayn Rand's endorsement of self-interest before that of others,basically shows her rejection of the ethics of altruism,which all of us are taught since childhood - a moral obligation to live for the sake of others, to keep others` interests in mind before our own, to be thoughtful of others and not selfish.
She said that every individual's own life is his or her own highest value; rationality is every human being's highest virtue, and one's own happiness is the highest purpose of one's life.
That makes perfect sense, doesnt it?
There will be and has always been many to criticize her philosophy. They claim that her vigorous adherence to objectivism can have hazardous psychological effects. Some say that her theories are incomplete and sketchy.Most others claim that her theories are in black and white, with no scope for shades of grey.Whatever the criticism, Ayn Rand continues to influence my life in more ways than one.
Over the years, I have allowed myself to be pulled into the flow,to be dragged into a herd, standing in the line, conforming,bending,evading,pandering to the needs of others before my own,compromising. I can hardly think of a thing that I did for my own happiness and not because others wanted it/liked it/approved of it. And in doing so, I`ve lost track of who I was and what I had wanted to be.
Today I am so lost, that I cant spend 5 minutes of my life without wondering if what I do is going to be liked/approved or disapproved by others who surround me. I cannot think for myself. It could be anything really. Even a simple thing as wearing a pair of favorite shorts on a hot summer day, without the fear of being smirked/talked about by those close to me. A stamp of approval that is not my own,seems so important. Important enough to twist my life in a route such that I might never find my way back again.
There was a time when I had a hand-painted(by me ofcourse!) Ayn Rand quote up on my walls. It made me smile. It made me feel alive. Today, as I`m grappling to resurface, to break free from the rusted roots, I`ve put it up again.

"I swear — by my life and my love of it — that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine."

29 comments:

Miss M said...

This post has to be one of my top 5 most favorite posts!

I haven't read the book but I have read quite a bit about Ayn Rand and also watched the movie based on her. Have you seen it? Helen Mirren plays Ayn Rand in the movie.

I think this post was about almost everyone who is reading it. Very VERY rarely it happens that we do something that would first and foremost make us happy. Infact while reading your post, I was doing a mental check of the things that I have done for myself, without worrying about others approval. Sadly, not too many.

And the quote with which you ended this post..All I can say is AMEN to that! :)

Sraboney said...

Piper, I like Ayn Rand's books and too some extent I subscribe to her philosophy of self interest before the interests of others...If one is unhappy he/she will make those around him/her unhappy...So to that extent individuality is important...But her philosophy is extreme...Howard Roark is uncompromising and egoistic- he loathes the people around him because he feels they are conventional because they put others before self...Is he happy? I don't think so although I must admire the fact that he remains loyal to his ideals...Extreme individualism can lead to egos which can only bring distruction to one's self...
As for you, yes do take time out for yourself and do and wear things you like and enjoy...F*** the others!

Passionate Goof said...

I believe that one can make others happy,only when he is himself happy. The important thing is being happy, doing the thing that makes me happy is the only way to make others around me happy. So go ahead, and make yourself happy by doing whatever you need to. I understand what you are saying here, fortunately I have broken out of that mold, and here is egging you on to do the same. Go Piper Go!

Fram Actual said...

You almost taunt me out of stasis, Piper.

I adore much of what Ayn advocates, but I think she is wrong on one important point. To love is to give, to care about another to the point of giving up oneself to the other. But, this is only plausible when the love is mutual, reciprocal and giving in an equal measure. There should be no he or she; no man or woman; no damn yin yang; no mr. or mrs.; no plus or minus. There should be one, who bleeds and gives and honors the other as each would hope to receive from the other. There should be only a mirror, where one sees the other and not the self. This is where Ayn missed life, I think.

I love the directions your thoughts are going, Piper.

Sunshine said...

Ive not read Ayn Rand but that quote of hers makes a lot of sense doesnt it? Sometimes we have to live selfishly...for ourselves...and not because someone else approves of it or not!

i have a lot of trouble doing this too at times...having a constant need to please the people around me!

Reflections said...

"I can hardly think of a thing that I did for my own happiness and not because others wanted it/liked it/approved of it."

"I cannot think for myself. It could be anything really."

U knw Piper...I so am this person u've described.
Yes the disappointment is there but again comfort myself saying tht ...well, its not a bad life, I'd never know ofcourse but it cd have been worse, right????
Does it make sense????????

Anonymous said...

I love this book too. Reading this makes one feel so confident! But why are you so disturbed these days , my dear Piper? You are a strong woman, and I am sure you will bounce back with a lot of zest soon.
TC!

moon said...

Heard that Ayn Rand philosophy is confusing..though i havent read any? the way you have described, it looks to be a simple philosophy..

Solilo said...

Mish, this is a fabulous post written with so much thought. I am a fan of Ayn Rand.

I also believe in the saying that an unhappy person makes everyone around him unhappy. I have mentioned the same on my blog many times. It is at most important for you to be happy first. It shouldn't be done by hurting others though. But we can all be happy by doing what we feel is right and not caving into emotional blackmails.

Loved the last line.

Deeps said...

beautiful post,Mish.yes its so important that we stay happy so that we impart that happiness around for our sake!

The last line,I love it :)
So be happy and stay positive for your sake!

Piper .. said...

Miss M: Heyy which movie is this? Havent seen it. You must read The Fountainhead sometime. And the quote if basically from the other book 'Atlas Shrugged'.

Sraboney: You`re right of course. Her characters and the philosophy she professes are in extreme forms - something which is not possible to follow in routine life. But even if we make a small effort to follow our own instincts and not those stashed in our brains by social obligations and so forth, I think we`ll be happy people,all of us. Dont you agree?

Goof: Bingo! First and foremost, our own happiness. If I am unhappy,bitter,angry all the time, there is no way I can spread anything else other than negativity all around me.

Fram: I dont completely agree. I for one, can never be happy by a complete giving of myself. I need to have a love that makes me conscious of my own identity, my own individuality - a love that will make me feel beautiful about myself. Not a kind of a self-effacement. But the kind of love you`re taking about, shall be perfect only and only if it is mutual. In no other way can it work out.
Ayn Rand has been one of my fav philosophers of all time. BUt I have to admit that her views are extreme on several counts.

Piper .. said...

Sunshine: Selfishness is not a negative attribute,as we have been taught since childhood.. Being selfless pbly is - it means precisely the absence of self. How can a person eve be happy if there is no sense of self? You must read The Fountainhead first before any of her other books..

Reflections: Nancy, welcome back!!! You were so missed! :):) Yes, I know what you`re talking about. I think of it that way sometimes too. If if were to retrace my steps back into time, I may just end up in a worse state than what I`m in right now.

Writerzblock: Not disturbed, just stressed out I guess. And hence the need to reaffirm the faith in myself. :):)

Sunder: There is nothing confusing about Rand`s philosophy - just that it is pbly too extreme for most people`s taste. Its non-conformist and hence controversial.

Solilo: bang on! Exactly my thoughts. The last line is from 'Atlas Shrugged' - a famous quote by John Galt.

Deeps: That`s exactly what I mean. Not for others, but for my own sake I should be happy. Do things which make me happy, without bothering about the whole world at all times.

Miss M said...

The movie is called 'The Passion Of Ayn Rand'.

Its actually a book; a biography on her.

ani_aset said...

i wanna read this book so i didn go through the post as yet :)

Unknown said...

Piper: Dont agree with Ayn Rand's philosophy. Its not as simple as she makes it out to be. The foundation is not structurally strong hence all those who love her books and her still flounder and feel lost.
Your own happiness is important. But what makes you really happy is something whihc you need to understand before you gon on a mission of I, Me, Myself....Today a pair of shorts on a summer day may make me happy, but tomorrow it may not be the same thing.
Distancing oneslef from dark energy is a must, but firts one has to recognize and acknowledge that same energy within.
Striking a balance is the key.
I ask you again to pick up some shastra...Ishavasya Upanishad or Geeta. Geeta will answer all your questions.
After having read all the Ayn Rands and Eckhart Toole of the world I realized they adressed only a fraction of the problems...hence lack the power and magic to heal and renew.
And yes hurry...it takes a lifetime to understand...to apply more than one lifetime.

Unknown said...

Piper: A point to think about..."not happy by giving yourself completely, as you say"....what makes you think you own what you posess. Does this body belong to you? Can you control everything that happens to it? Did you control its conception or its demise?
These are larger and fundamental questions...which rand can never answer. Look in the mirror as Fram said but gain the insight to see beyond the reflection.

Piper .. said...

Ani aset: Hey I havent written anything about the book. Only about Rand`s philosophy. And great to see you here again. Its been a while, my friend..

Chrysalis: Rand`s philosophy has several qstns unanswered. Rand did not work out a philosophy of science, as she herself acknowledged.The relationship between Objectivism and cognitive science remains unclear in her philosophy; she did make extensive claims about human cognition and its development at various levels to appear to belong to psychology, yet Rand asserted that philosophy is logically prior to psychology and in no way dependent on it(?!!).Of course her theories dont answer all qstns of birth and death. She deals with existentialism. The fact that a living being is, should determine what it ought to do. Not the hows and whys of the very conception of man. According to Rand,possessing a free will, human beings must choose their values: one does not automatically hold his own life as his ultimate value. Whether a person will act in order to promote his well-being is up to him, not hard-wired into his physiology.
How do I know if the body I assume to be mine, is really mine? I dont. I simply assume. And I`m happy doing so.
I do not completely agree with Rand. BUt in whatever ways I do, I think it makes perfect sense. If I cant be happy, I can only end up spreading negativity around me. Can I control my demise? No I cannot. BUt I can control my life and the route it takes. I can control the events which make me happy or unhappy. In limited forms of course. BUt let me start with those limitations and we`ll take it from there.
Am I making any sense at all?
Ayn Rand is not the most perfect of philosophers. BUt then again, its all relative. Isnt it?

Unknown said...

Piper: I think the answer lies in figuring out what will make you really happy now and forever. Not the transient kind of happiness which lasts till the weekend and Monday brings the blues.
Once you have that figured out ...GO FOR IT! Because I think happiness which will last a lifetime will be all encompassing and you will be touching people all around in a good way.
Those who remain untouched despite honest intentions are worthy of pity more than anger.
Basically saying taking care of myslef does not necessarily have to exclude everybody else.

Mystic Margarita said...

Mish - I read this post a couple of days back and I can't rest easy till I answer. So much for being a lurker! :)

In Fountainhead, Roark says, “The man who attemps to live for others is a dependent. He is a parasite in motive and makes parasites of those he serves. The relationship produces nothing but mutual corruption. ..... The conquered slave has a vestige of honor. He has the merit of having resisted and of considering his condition evil. But the man who enslaves himself voluntarily in the name of love is the basest of creatures."

If someone voluntarily chooses to live for others, isn't s/he exercising his/her own mind and making a voluntary choice? And if someone voluntarily, without pressure or coercion from external sources, decides that living for others is what s/he derives pleasure from and is the source of his happiness - I'd say it that is how life should be led.

And I since man does not live in isolation from society, I don't see Rand's view as being totally free of dependence on others as being very realistic.

What I mean, is that as long as one lives life voluntarily according to what s/he wants, even if, that life is lived for others - it's ok - as long as it's not out of compulsion and starts stifling hapiness out of the person. Sorry 'bout the long comment.

J P Joshi said...

I read this post a few days ago, but did not comment because I could not find the right words to tell you that I did not agree with your conclusions in this post. I have found something (a Quote by HH the Dalai Lama)that I would like to share with you. The first para says it all......

"Consider the following. We humans are social beings. We come into the world as the result of others' actions. We survive here in dependence on others. Whether we like it or not, there is hardly a moment of our lives when we do not benefit from others' activities. For this reason it is hardly surprising that most of our happiness arises in the context of our relationships with others.

Nor is it so remarkable that our greatest joy should come when we are motivated by concern for others. But that is not all. We find that not only do altruistic actions bring about happiness but they also lessen our experience of suffering. Here I am not suggesting that the individual whose actions are motivated by the wish to bring others' happiness necessarily meets with less misfortune than the one who does not. Sickness, old age, mishaps of one sort or another are the same for us all. But the sufferings which undermine our internal peace -- anxiety, doubt, disappointment -- these things are definitely less. In our concern for others, we worry less about ourselves. When we worry less about ourselves an experience of our own suffering is less intense.

What does this tell us? Firstly, because our every action has a universal dimension, a potential impact on others' happiness, ethics are necessary as a means to ensure that we do not harm others. Secondly, it tells us that genuine happiness consists in those spiritual qualities of love, compassion, patience, tolerance and forgiveness and so on. For it is these which provide both for our happiness and others' happiness. [Ethics for a New Millennium, by His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama]"

Amrita said...

Piper - I read this post 2 weeks back but somehow have not been able to post a comment. And this post was so thought provoking, i had in my mind always to come back and comment on it.

Ayn Rand does not fail to motivate me. The way she holds an individual and hails an individual makes me feel proud of being a cognizant being and kind of thrills me that I actually got so much power.

If she motivates you, whats stopping you from going her way? what is forcing you to bend and oblige. Got just one life.. live it for yourself. And if not for yourself for who else? And here by yourself i do include husband, mother , father, kids - cos they are an extension of you.

Like some days back i chucked the truck load of work and scooted home early cos i felt i shd hit the gym. For me being in shape makes me feel good since i can wear all i want to... nothing should stop me right...
So Piper, come on get going. Go the Ayn Rand way

Lakshmi said...

I came across your blog few weeks back. This post is forcing me to delurk. I have found this struggle within me as well. I have been thinking I must be a bad person to feel unhappy sometimes when I seem to have it all from society's perspective. It is very hard to figure out one's own self. I loved your last quote. Keep writing.

Piper .. said...

Mystic: You`ve nailed it. The last line says it all - as long as an act is not forced out of one or stifles the very being of someone, but is done voluntarily, I guess it is fine. And therein,lies my problem. That what I do is not voluntarily, but simply forced. I completely agree with what you say.
Long time, how`ve you been>??

JP Joshi Sir: With all due respect, I dont think I fully agree. Since Man lives in a society and not alone, hence the kind of independence which Rand professes is not possible - I agree with that. BUt caring for others, helping others, forgiving,sharing etc may all be very well upto a certain limit Sir. My trouble starts when these qualities literally stifle you so much that you no longer who you are. You live, survive,exist for others and you dont know what you want any more. That is what I`m against. There has to be a limit to the kind of altruism we are *expected* to perform. That`s what I think Sir

Piper .. said...

Amrita: What forces me to bend/oblige is societal pressures, the things we are *expected* to do, even though we may not want to. Isnt that the same for everyone?

Whoever you are: :):) welcome to my space! Hope you delurk again :)
Dont be hard on yourself. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in the world around us,that we forget to think about our own selves. That makes us unhappy. Following *rules* just because - definitely makes us unhappy because these acts arent voluntary, but simply forced on us. So its not your fault. Hope you find yourself soon :) Do visit again.

Poonam J said...

Piper...health permits me today to blog, and here I am catching up with your blog. Interesting read, this post is.I had read Ayn Rand ages ago, she has her own philosophy, to my belief, extreme at times.
Every individuals life indeed is of the highest value, sadly but sometimes this is mere philosophy, when life is lived at the practical level.
When in relationships, especially in our culture, we give importance to everybody else but our own selves. We have witnessed our mothers doing it, so it comes naturally to us as well. And we continue doing it without questioning, analyzing till something within us shakes..it takes a very small maybe an insignificant incident, and then we start thinking about ourselves...and then I guess that is where the so called confusion starts...but we have to face it, sometimes we will rub people on the wrong side, and at times be labelled selfish, inconsiderate. The fault is again ours, why are we seeking approval....In the 50th year of my life , I am hitting the same roadblocks as you are..I try to please all, end up pleasing nobody, not even my self, so strong is the disapproval....but while some disapprove, some do approve..and thats how life continues.Do what u feel is right , and your conscience permits.Life is a web indeed... ..everything that you do will not be all right, but it will also not be all wrong. The quote is all black and white....life has more grey than black and white.

Mamma mia! Me a mamma? said...

Personally, I don't believe in Objectivism. I feel it isolates us from each other and we become more selfish. The pursuit of happiness is different though. I think that is every individual's right, and for some, making others happy is the means to their own happiness.

Am I making any sense?

S. Susan Deborah said...

Hmmm. I think Ayn Rand is quite selfish. Loves to get what she wants and her characters are just the same - SELFISH and SELF CENTERED. Not that I beg to differ but its a perspective again. The post is aptly titled. I am sure Ms. Rand will be frolicking in her grave for the title epitomises her spirit.

Piper .. said...

Poonam Mam: I`m so sorry for the delayed response. Have been insanely busy. Your comment comforts me at many levels. I so relate to what you write. The quote I mentioned - yes its all black and white and yes life is all grey. BUt at times like these when I`m yearning to get out of the chains that bind me in gagging proportions, it helps to repeat this quote to myself. I shall write to you one of these days.

M4: perfect sense, my friend. Its very important that we do thiings to make ourselves happy. And yet, almost invariably it clashes with the happiness of those around us. That is where the conflict comes in.

Susan: "Ayn Rand loves to get what she wants" - you say. Dont we all?? Why on earth would selfishness be given a negative connotation while altruism or selflessness be termed a virtue? Isnt being selfless precisely that? An absence of self? And if there is an absence of self, how does an individual function then? Thoughts, feeling, actions all for others, by others??? No self at all???
I dont agree with what you say. But I do hope you`ll visit again :):)

SC said...

Most of the hostility and confusion surrounding Rand's ideas stem from her work in America as a political activist for laissez-faire capitalism (after she 'escaped' from Soviet Russia,) her eager participation in the US House Un-American Activities Committee, and her complete rejection of faith in favor of reason. While it is not too difficult to see how she might have developed her ideas in reaction to State-sponsored oppression and violence in communist Russia; it is also not too hard to understand why those who distrust an unfettered free market (we don't have to look very far behind us in history to discover the limits of Greenspanomics - BTW Alan Greenspan was a follower and member of her group) and find 'Darwinian' individualism abhorrent would have a slight problem with her views.

When you contrast Rand's 'western' ideas with what the eastern orthodox mind considers virtues - respect for tradition, elders, hierarchy, authority, seva, as well as a confused notion of egolessness - Rand's views appear to be in direct contradistinction, and therefore wrong.

Someone wiser than I said: in order to transcend the ego you have to have an ego.

In a country like India where ego is a bad word, equated with selfishness, any understanding of a healthy ego is rare. A malnourished ego is debilitating, attempting to transcend a crippled ego (remember, egolessness is an aspiration in the Indian cultural context) a sad and ludicrous affair.

Unlike Rand I am not dismissing the idea (and experience) of genuine transcendence. Au contraire, I am passionately for it. But only after developing a fully functional and engaged self. Rand's developmental process happens to stop once the 'heroic' self emerges.

The Fountainhead came to me when I needed it the most - I was in my teens, growing up in India. It shook me to my core; it helped me separate my destiny and identity from that of my 'tribe;' it gave me the confidence to find and speak in my own voice and refuse stale, regurgitated ideas; it inspired me to honor my individual journey and not succumb to groupthink.

Today, I do not need Ayn Rand in my life any longer. I am not as fierce a champion of Rand as I once was. Authentic expressions of kindness and charity move me to tears. Mercy is more important to me than being right. The ego isn't all that it's cracked up to be. (LOL)

There comes a time when we all need a little bit of Rand. Stiffens the spine, I say.