Friday, July 2, 2010

Sinner or Sinned against???

Disclaimer: Thought for the day - I am NOT a gender stereotype (read a 'regular' female!), as many 'expect' me to be! Does that make me a sinner? Or simply 'the Sinned against' (given the multitude of unfair expectations of many) ??

Pal, Swaram and UmaS (unofficially!) tagged me to do this post on 'Sins on Gender stereotypes!" started by IHM (trust her to come up with something as interesting as this!)

To list at least ten things you have ever wanted to do or done which your gender is not 'supposed' to.

I thought this was a splendid way to break the mental block I was going through in terms of writing. And so here`s my list. I know this is a long, long read and so if you want to skip ahead, just read the footnote! :)

1. I whistle tunes perfectly.

2. I own more books and music cds than clothes and shoes. In fact I hardly go shopping for clothes, jewelery, shoes, make up.

3. I dont wear make up. Never have. No lipstick. No nail paint. No mascara or what have you! Not even a lip gloss.

4. I have never owned a stiletto, nor do I wish to.

5. I tune my own guitar without a tuner (not sure if this qualifies! Somehow I thought this was a pretty cool thing to be able to do!) :):)

6. I can climb trees or pipes on a building. I once climbed three stories up a water pipe, only to have my mom frantically shout at the caretaker of the building to pull me down. He was scared to climb up in the first place! So after much cajoling, I made my way down, only to be yanked up again by my mom (this time up the staircase!).

7. I love motor bikes. The best times I`ve had are the ones on my bike, riding out into the horizon on a warm summer evening all by myself. I miss those times. I miss them desperately. And right now, I`m saving to buy a Harley.

8. I detest doing house hold chores. The G does it all! :) He actually does! :)

9. I can spend hours in front of the t.v, watching sports. I spent a major part of the year watching NBA religiously. Now it`s the FIFA of course (I still cant believe Brazil just got kicked out!) And after this, I`m waiting eagerly for the National Football League season to begin. I`m a hard core Vikings fan (more so with Brett Favre in the team now!). For the uninitiated, he`s the quarterback in the National Football League for the Minnesota Vikings.

I am also addicted to watching the news all the time!

Which explains why The G and I never fight over the tv remote :)

10. I can pitch up a tent, make a fire and sit around all night singing. There was a time when I could do all of this alone. Not anymore though.

And now for the best part :) I, hereby tag:


Mystic Margarita







Is there anyone who`s not been tagged yet? Please feel free to take it up! :)


There are several other things I have done (and still do..) which are totally 'unfeminine'. But I do not want to mention them on a public forum and scandalize unsuspecting readers (read spying relatives and 'friends'!) into a state of shock! And so here is where I stop! But even

as I write this post, I realize that I have changed. I have changed so much and I`m not even sure if all of it was for the better. Over the years, there has been a mold I was cast into. I was the son my parents never had. Independent. Opinionated. And mostly free. I biked to the neighborhood corner store to fetch eggs or bread for Mom. I took tattered shoes to the cobbler`s for repair. I wore my hair very short and played cricket with the neighborhood kids. I bullied them into submission and led them to discarded wells (to throw in buckets and see the water splash) or dilapidated, crumbly houses to search for a witch(?!!). I seriously did that! And while I was busy doing all of this, life passed me by. I went on to join a medical school and then the army. And there was no looking back. Not until I met The G. And over the years of our togetherness, he has managed to unfold that part of me I never even knew, existed! There was a time when I was content to survive (and make him too!) on subway foot-longers and maggie noodles. Now, I take pride in preparing elaborate meals for him occasionally. Last year (on our vacation to Clearwater,Florida), I booked us a 3 hour long cruise into the Atlantic, where there would be a candle light dinner for two and some dancing into the night. And I even went so far as to buy myself a beautiful black dress :) Definitely a first timer for me! :) I`ve started keeping monthly appointments at the salon to do up my hair! I religiously wear the mandatory 'sindoor, shnakha pola' a married woman is supposed to wear back in my state of West Bengal and I do it because I like doing it! I`ve even started giving up on the bigger bite or saving the last bit for The G! And even though I still detest the color pink, I still dont do household chores, I still nurture the dream of owning a Harley someday and I go by my maiden name (and forever shall); He has managed to smoothen out the rough edges and turn me into the woman I was forever destined to be.. :)


Swaram said...

1 - PLsss teach me :P
5 - Thatz really coool really!

Luved the footnote :) The black dress - is there a pic ;)

Garima said...

Teach me to whistle... virtually though.. the only thing that comes out of my mouth is "phoo". I love number 8 on your list... ... may be I will have SD read it.. and he can get inspired.
I love the end: "has managed to smoothen out the rough edges and turn me into the woman I was forever destined to be"
We grow as individuals and in our coupledom we grow as people. Smile!

Indian Home Maker said...

Aww you were a girl even when yo were looking for witches in dilapidated buildings Piper :)

And am I first?

Piper .. said...

Swaram: :):) There is a picture of the black dress and with me in it too! :):) If you`re a good girl, someday I shall let you see :) :p

GNSD: Let me figure out the logistics of teaching you the art of whistling online! :) And yes, The G actually does the weekly vacuuming and the laundry while I cook and sometimes do the ironing! He also loads the dishwasher at times! :):)

IHM: :):) Was I?? I like to think of it as a boyish thing that I did :):) And ohh...nope you`re only third! But That`s cool too, isnt it? :):)

Indian Home Maker said...

Whistling tunes is awesome Piper! And climbing up a pipe makes you a certified sinner against gender stereotypes :)

Anonymous said...

"I am NOT a gender stereotype (read a 'regular' female!), as many 'expect' me to be! Does that make me a sinner? Or simply 'the Sinned against' (given the multitude of unfair expectations of many) ??"

You are sinned against Piper! So are so many of us who can not be their own self - so that they fit in these Gender Stereotypes.

Piper .. said...

IHM: I cannot believe you`re still up and reading my post at that! :):) Okay, I agree. I totally dislike it when someone 'expects' me to behave in a certain way. If someone tells me to quit smoking because it affects my health (like The G), I listen to him carefully. However, if people tell me to quit smoking because it is 'un ladylike', I ask them to take a hike! It`s as simple as that for me. That said, thank you for starting this tag! It is thought provoking at several levels.

sakshi said...

Aila one more ghor paapi I chanced upon today... :)

Aww am happy to know that i am not the only one who changed so drastically after marriage. I think love does make you do queer things you never knew you could in the first place.

Sraboney said...

Hey, your list is similar to mine!

You can whistle - I'm impressed - maha impressed...

I knew you weren't the typical woman 'cause of the fact that u were in the army...

moon said...

Nice ones, with interesting footnotes...

Bengali not wearing lipstick? common.....A common sight in kolkota, man pulling rickshaw, woman with sleeveless applying lipstick...

Piper .. said...

Sakshi: :):) I loved your comment! :) Well yes, mahi paapi, if you will! And you`re right. I never ever thought I had a softer side to me :) Welcome to my space and hope you visit again! And another thing - I dont know why I never left a comment on that picture post (the contest entry) or may be I did, I dont remember. But You did have some fabulous pictures in your collection!

Sraboney: :) I told you - we have a similar list! And hey, I have some interesting things to tell ya :) Shall email.

Sunder: hee hee! You`re quite funny! What is so wrong with a woman in sleeveless applying lipstick??!! :):)

UmaS said...

1. WOW, I can whistle - just plain and no tunes...but you can do tunes...which song is ur fav in that ???

2. Perfectly understood, on what I shld gift you, when we meet. :)

3. Woman, are u for real ????

4. Yeah, me too...never had one...

5. Brilliant...where do u stay ??? Do u take guitar classes ????

6. OMG !!! Am jaw dropped to read this - climbed up a water pipe - Oh, really !!!

7. Such a lovely time...WOW, my wishes for you to get ur Harley !!! My BIL has one !!! Its awesome....stylish....super....

8. Thank God, you got G in ur life...hai na....

9. NBA fan...woman, you surely are a sinner....

10. This is the best - you amaze me with every sin u committed.

Loved the footnote. That black really a nice thing to do...and isn't wonderful to discover a new YOU, which you like, because of the man in the life !!! I just love the discovery. :)

Special hugs on doing this tag, in a super fab way !!! And dont forget to get the badge from IHM's !!!

D said...

:) The footnote puts so many things in perspective. Sometimes, as girls and women, we don't do things we'd like to just because we're expected to do them because of our gender. It's a horrible trap to be in.

sakshi said...

lolz don't worry about not putting comments on my photos. I have around 1000 plus begging to be uploaded before the camera decides to breathe it's last. So you have all the time in the world to comment on my future posts:)

Tara said...

Good to know more about you !! Obviously different !!

Shilpa said...

:) :) I love no.8 ;) :)

Makk said...

I liked your footnote.

Keep Smiling..

Witty Jester said...

Hey just stumbled across your blog and was mighty impressed, i really appreciate your writing style and I am looking to feature good writers on my blog,If you are curious maybe drop in sometome

Piper .. said...

UmaS: Heyyy!! What a detailed comment this was! :):) I`m thrilled! And thanks for reminding me about the badge! I out it up :)

D: I think you may have a point there. More often than I would have liked to, I have refused to do something 'feminine' because people were forcing me to! :)

Sakshi: Oh I will! :) I distinctly remember this particular picture because it was awesome! This guy sitting under a cherry blossom tree I think, with his laptop or something.

Tara: :):) Have you done this tag? If not, you must. In fact let me add your name too!

Shilpa: :):) My mom hyperventilates over it all the time! :) Try telling her that!

Makk: :):) Thank you! Do visit again!

Witty Jester: Thank you :) I`ll check out your site.

sm said...

thanks for sharing
enjoyed the reading

Passionate Goof said...

reminds me, I have to do this one too! Somehow the theme itself does not sit too well with me.... but whatever. And wow you can do tenting n all. Superb girl. Now i am definitely going camping with you. You do the hard work, I will chill. :)

MRC said...


Read this with interest, you're quite an impressive "sinner" ! Thanks for the tag, we're travelling these days, so I'll be lazier than usual in coming up with it IF I can ;)

Sunshine said...

lol love this tag! and honestly i am not surprised by any of the points! i would expect you to be just like that! :)

the footnote is super sweet! maybe u know uve found your true soulmate when he manages to unlock a part of you that you didnt realize existed?? :) 3 cheers for the G here! :P

Piper .. said...

sm: :)Thank you!

Goof: Anytime, my friend! :) Waiting to read your post.

MRC: Do it if you want to :) No issues at all. Have a fun vacation!

Sunshine: That is so sweet! :):)Thanks! And hey, you should do this too!

Booky Buddies said...

Ditto on points 1-4 and wish I could be as cool as you on the rest! Wow! You can play a guitar, pitch a tent and bike! That is sooo awesome! I love climbing trees too, tho have never tried a water pipe stunt ;)I loved your footnote, from what you have shared I think The G is a very lucky guy indeed :)
Thanks for the tag, it looks super fun, plan to do it right away

Anonymous said...

Wow..Interesting Post!!!!!
I think I am the complete opposite on most of these points. I can't whistle at all, absolutely love shopping(clothes,shoes,etc),love makeup,I am scared of heights, forget climbing trees I don't even like climbing ladders!

Playing Guitar? That's cool!!! You go girl!


Lakshmi said...

Oh Piper. Your posts sound so genuine and from the heart. I love your sins :) I have been seeing this tag going around, am yet to reach IMH's.

Poonam J said... jwellery, no lipstick, no nail paint not surprised ..the rest of the stuff am not surprised at either...
Independent. Opinionated....yes, you still are...smiled when I read this...[Not until I met The G. And over the years of our togetherness, he has managed to unfold that part of me I never even knew, existed!] Isnt it nice...that G loves this changed person too...loved the tag...and discovered you were your own self then as much as you are now.

J P Joshi said...

My wife had this comment page open on our computer when I got home, and I read it, and smiled. I had quite a fair idea of the kind of person you are, before I read this post and so I would just go on to seconding my wife's comment above.

Piper .. said...

new mum on the block: :)You must do it whenever you find some time! It will be pretty interesting to read how motherhood changes the 'boy' in you :):)

Anonymous: :):) Were you at Rosedale yesterday by any chance? Just wondering..

Poonam Mam: :):) You are so good for my ego! Thank you so much for all your warm and wonderful comments! You make me smile :)

J P Joshi Sir: Thank you so much Sir! :):)

Anonymous said...

Nope, I did not get a chance to go shopping this weekend. I think I was there last about two weeks ago.

Sunshine said...

i did it! along with some other updates finally! :)

Dr Roshan Radhakrishnan said...

took up the post ...

Reflections said...

As I read I visualised every sentence u wrote...simply loved this post Piper...esp the footnote:-)).