For the longest time, British filmmaker Zana Briski and Ross Kauffman tried to help several children born into the brothels of Sonagachi,just as several other NGOs did/do - placing children in group homes, enrolling them in schools, fighting byzantine bureaucracies, and parents(who saw their children as meal tickets) and helped them in their fight to survive. For a while, it made news. A Cinderella fairy tale wherein little girls(and boys) born into brothels are allowed a chance to get out of the muck and study in the USA; a chance to breathe free again.
What happened next?
Puja, now 18, ribbons in her well-oiled hair and grey ashes of burnt dreams smudged over her face, is back where she started. Her mother took her out of school.
Kochi, a quiet 17 year old now, got married to a pimp at 14, broke free and came to the USA, accepting Zana`s offer. She joined high school in Utah, opened a facebook account with over 500 friends, and decided to wrench the pain and transform in into something beautiful. Then she went back home again, back to where she started. Why, you ask? Because her grandmother passed away and her mother 'wanted her back to look after her', she said.
The only one who survived the cudgels of fate was a boy, now 20, who is a friend of mine now at New York and so shall remain unnamed.
"Didi," he says, "If Kochi was a boy, she wouldnt go back."
I dont know how much truth that statement carries, but I`m inclined to think there must be something to it really.
Quoting Nick Kristof:
"A girls’ education may be the single most cost-effective kind of aid work. It’s cheap, it opens minds, it gives girls new career opportunities and ways to generate cash, it leads them to have fewer children and invest more in those children, and it tends to bring women from the shadows into the formal economy and society."
A girl child`s education might not be a comprehensive panacea of course. But this is where we have to begin. Is this that difficult to understand really? Why then, is a girl child`s education not given its due importance?
I don’t need to go over the statistics,do I? In India alone, the numbers are unnerving. Despite a major improvement in literacy rates over the past decade, significant gender disparities in education persist. The national literacy rate of girls over 7 years of age is a staggering 33 - 50%(differing from state to state), as against 75% for boys. The self proclaimed moral custodians of our medieval society continue to propagate snow job theories under the garb of ancient traditions and culture. Impoverished parents actually believe that they are saving their honor as well as that of their daughters by marrying them off early (sometimes even at pre-menstrual ages). There is a clear preference for sons for continuation of clan and as bread earners.
I am not here to lecture you on glaring social issues. But it is necessary to point out the facts. So that someone, somewhere reading this might think of making a difference somehow.
For the last two months I have been obsessed with Anne Frank. I reread her diary 5 times. Absorbed every little bit written on the Holocaust ever!Watched all the movies I could on WW2. I tend to have these transient 'Anne Frank' phases often.
But what came as a startling revelation for the first time ever, is that there is an Anne Frank hidden in all the 'Kochis' and 'Pujas' of the world. We just dont care enough to see. Or understand. And even when we do, we rave and we rant. And then we do it some more. But in the end, we walk away, thanking our stars we werent born as one of them. Or simply brushing the thought under the bed so we never have to think of it again.
But hey, stop a moment, will you? It is important.
We are content to celebrate Womens' day today. Hold contests. Write blogs.
But is it helping any?
Now is when we should pause and recalibrate.
Am I doing my bit to make this a beautiful world? A free world?
Am I really?
Yes, as women we celebrate our independence today. But when will we be free?
"Tolling for the aching whose wounds cannot be nursed
For the countless confused, accused, misused, strung-out ones an' worse
An' for every hung-up person in the whole wide universe
An' we gazed upon the chimes of freedom flashing."
- Bob Dylan(Who else?!!)
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18 comments:
When I saw Kathryn Bigelow becoming the first woman to win Best Director Academy award, it dawned on me that this is somehow still a Man's world. There are still many places where a woman is yet to become the first to do something. Your post strikes a chord on the long way we have to go as a society.
I agree with your friend - if Kochi were a boy, she wouldn't have gone back...There are 2 reasons for this - a) as many are finding out, girls these days do more to take care of their aged parents than boys and b) easy money as a prostitute...
Yes, Piper, when are women going to be free so that we don't have to 'celebrate' Women's Day?
I agree to you..I also believe that education is the only panacea,personally we can contribute by being independent, giving our daughters freedom of choice and may be by counselling our maids..I have always felt that if all employers take care of their domestic servants even, society can be changed.
The Women's Day and its slick marketing has thrown me in a tizzy as well. It now seems more like a Hallmark Day, with people just wishing each other: "Happy Women's Day" actually forgetting the meaning and the depth of it.
I am all for the ideologies behind the day.. but i think untill we start thinking of us as equals in our mind... there will not be progress. Its for each and every one! If we were equal, then we would not talk about empowerment! Its counter intuitive!
I saw this post yesterday, and knew there was no point rushing through it, so finally getting to it as my day ends today.
First off, I think this is the post I have read on woman's day. Totally offbeat, and so so honest and true. I did not even know of a program that brought children from sonagachhi to US. Wow! That is a great thing in itself. That it could not really do something for the kids, is just sad. Thank God it atleast made a difference to the life of your friend. And how on earth do you have such amazing friends girl???
I completely believe in what you say,when you say, all this fluffy blogging is no use,unless we concretely do something about it. Its just pretense of being sensitive etc etc crap, and its the true hypocrite in us showing. Women's Day in the blog world is like a page 3 event, all fluff no use, it seems like just an occasion for the rich and privileged to celebrate. Indeed, there are bloggers, I am not naming or linking here, who would write about how they saw poor, unprivileged people and felt for them, one person tells them, that there is no point in writing if you are not doing anything about it, and the reaction amaze you. there is no sorrow or atleast some form of remorse, but open hostility. So yes indeed, talking about stuff is no use, until we openly do something about it.
I have so so much more to say here Mish, you have touched my heart strings somewhere here. But I think this comment has gone long enough. And its completely OK if you don't publish it, just needed to vent.
Additioanlly, yes women's education can take the entire society to a much much higher level, and I am not talking about professional studies or PHDs here, just basic, grass root level education.
Lakshmi: you`re right of course. But it has to start with each one of us. Ridiculous customs and traditions are so deeply internalized within us that it is near impossible to even begin to make a change. Thanks for leaving a comment, Lakshmi. It means a lot :)
Sraboney: I try to make some sense of it, Bones. I just cant imagine a 14-15 year old wanting to make easy money by prostitution. If you`ve seen the documentary, you`ll also realize that Kochi was the last one to think of doing so :(:(
Renu: Exactly!! Each one of us should think of making a change. Governmental laws are all in place. We might bemoan the failure of the law to protect the girl child, but we are as much to blame, I think.
GNSD: Exactly my thoughts - only you put it so much better!!
Goof: You have to watch the movie 'born into brothels' to believe it. I decided to publish this comment, because you`ve expressed some thoughts so clearly and candidly. I`ll talk about the friend of mine, when we next chat. But yes, it`s amazing really.
Oh God...that is so sad.... bitter and harsh realities of Life. When will it change... I don't think ever! Unless we can reboot the world and start afresh, all over again?!
This was so terribly sad.
I agree with these lines..."A girls’ education may be the single most cost-effective kind of aid work... and it tends to bring women from the shadows into the formal economy and society."
Education and also awareness of their rights and their strengths...
writerzblock: yeah I know. No matter how much a person does to make a change, it has to begin from within. And that only come with education.
IHM: EDucation is the solution, my friend. But it has to be a grass root movement. No amount of laws and enactments will help until each one pitches in.
I understand where you come from, and agree with you that education is the first small step, specially to alter the lives of the underprivileged in our society. Nearly all of us educate our children - be they girl or boy, but it is those who are lacking in the basics - roti, kapda; forget about the makaan, is where the problem lies.
I agree with your post - what better than the education of a girl child, because then we can change the lives of a whole family instead of just an individual. I am looking at practical ways, within my means, to put this into action - suggestions?
this happens to be one of the most relevant and apt post i have read on womens day. I agree with you completely that its not issues like womens reservation that are important..its the basic things like education for a girl child that will do more good and create equal opportunity
I guess the only place we women are first is being a woman of substance...place us in any role..we create a niche...man can never reach...on a saner note...we have along way to go and be given our due...one day..They say slow and steady wins the race...so shall we, now that gradually we armed with education and above all awareness.
Loved the post Piper but dont have much to say as almost all the comments here echo my thoughts.
Thanks for sharing!!!!!
hey you so can use that list for women do and donts on femme fatale :)
every woman should know no?
I was inspired so I shared ... go on spread the word!
JP Joshi Sir: You`re right of course! That`s exactly what The G asked me. He said," Tell me how you will convince a man(of very modest means)that he should spend extra money to educate his girlchild, when his income remains the same(low as ever)or maybe less, because the girl can no longer pbly work as a maid or something." I dont know Sir. And therein lies the problem.
Ani_aset: Thanks! BUt here`s another food for thought. How do we even start?
Reflections: Thanks Nancy :)Your comments make me smile always.
AD: Heyy thanks for dropping by :) And hope you visit again. I so loved the list you put up and yes, every woman should have one! :)
This is a very beautiful post. It is so true.
Then I would say it is the responsability of each woman to set herself free.
Helene: Thank you for dropping by and for your warm words :) It definitely is the responsibility of each one of us..but sometimes we do not realize it, given the economic/social/cultural backgrounds we come from and the severe restrictions that a medieval society imposes on us women!
Welcome to my space and hope you visit again :):)
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