Honest Confessions

As I sit here writing, a thousand rambling thoughts nestled in the aroma of freshly brewed coffee,tumble against each other in the mind. Like marbles in a game of rolley hole. And it feels like a homecoming. Truly.
I know I`ve been very tardy in taking up this tag. Infact a little comatose too,of late. But better late than never, I suppose.
Jira, Mystic Margarita, Nisha and My Space had tagged me to do this post a zillion years ago. Thank you People.

The rules for the tag are: #1 People who have been tagged,must write their answers on the blog and replace any question they dislike by a new question. #2 Tag 6 people to do the quiz.

Ok so here goes:

1.If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
Deep, deep hurt. Followed by alienation with a vengeance.

2. If you could have a dream come true, what would it be?
Hmm lets see.. Off hand I cant really seem to think of any.

* Its been 15 minutes I`ve been staring at the screen, trying to think of one dream that I want fulfilled. Cant seem to think of any! Strange! Have I stopped dreaming then? *

3. Who`s butt would you like to kick?
The cigarrette`s! And trust me, I have been trying..

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
* Piper grins devilishly*
Lets see... buy a mansion in Sunset Boulevard and rent it out. A summer get-away log cabin by Lake Superior. A world cruise. And save up the rest to splurge on clothes, books and dvds. Oh and also give some amount to Mom. I guess I dont know what to do with a billion dollars. Gimme a few thousand and I`ll tell you exactly what I`ll do :-))

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?
I do. Everyday.

6. Which is more blessed : loving someone or being loved by someone?
Being loved by someone. Although it took a while to get used to being loved.

7. If the person you secretly love is engaged, what will you do?
10 years back I would`ve sulked and tried to make life miserable for 'the other woman'. I actually did! :)
But if you ask the Piper of today,assuming for a moment she`s single, I guess I`d simply let it pass. Have I started growing old already?

8. If you could root for one social cause, what would it be?
Education for the girl child in India. Its of vital importance that a girl be able to support herself when she grows up, esp in a bad, bad world.

9. What takes you down the fastest?
Hypocrisy and back-biting. It affects me in volcanic proportions.

10. Where do you see yourself in 10 years time?
If I give it a sincere thought, here`s what I would like to see myself as, in 10 years : a successful counselling psychologist and a terrific mom to a beautiful lil girl. Crazily in love, like I am today.
But here`s what I think I`ll see : a successful hospital administrator and still crazily in love. That`s good too, right? :)

11. What`s your biggest fear?
Losing my loved ones.

12. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
I think all of them have excellent writing skills and are very honest in the way they document their lives on the web. I wish I had the guts and the freedom to. And Mystic of course has grown to be my confidante. One among the very few that I have.

13.Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?
Married for sure. Whether poor or rich is a food for thought, I shall dwell upon when I have more time :)

14. What`s the first thing you do when you wake up?
Look across at the G.

15. If you fall in love with two people at the same time, who will you pick?
Well, 10 years ago in the second year of Med School(when everyone was 'falling in love' with everyone else and it was considered kewl!), I had picked the guy with a better sense of humour. Now as the teeth fall out and the hair turns grey and twilight approaches with the speed of a jet in flight, I realize I cant fall in love with multiple people at a time. Three years through and The G`s still my guy. And that`s how it shall remain I suppose.

16. Would you give all in a relationship?
Nope, I dont. I always take the bigger share of the dessert.
On a serious note, what a weird question! Of course I would. I do. That`s the only way I know. Or none at all.

17. Would you forgive and forget someone, no matter how horrid a thing he may have done?
Nope. Never have. Never will. Never can. That`s understandable right? I`m as vengeful as they come. But only if you rub me off the wrong way. Very wrong way. Very, very wrong way that is. You get it I`m sure :)

18. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship?
In the relationship that I am.

19. If you were given a chance to trade places with a celebrity just for a day, who`s shoes would you rather be in? ( My own question)

Priyanka Todi.
I still wonder why she changed gears. I want to know exactly what she thinks and feels. And just how she continues to live on..

20. List of people I tag :
As i surf through the blogs I regularly read, I see almost all have already done this tag. So anybody who has not, feel free to take it on!

Edited to add : This friend of mine read the blog and called up right before dinner to remind me that I do have some special dreams of my own. To have a book published some day. A best seller of all times! :)
Thank you my friend. I`m flying high today because you`re there with me :)

A White Butterfly

I havent disappeared from the face of this earth. Not yet. Though many might just be wanting me to, considering the preposterous mannerisms I seem to have developed over the last few weeks. Infact on maturer reflection,I think it might even be a good idea for me. Because when I resurface, this earth by some miraculous snap of the heavens above, might just become more livable. Huh?
I feel like a white butterfly flitting around in a sepia rain, in search of its lost colours. And I`ll surface when I do. Here`s hoping all you readers bear with me and stick on until then. Much Love.

Shining Bright... and brighter.. :)

Ok People, I`m back. Not only have I managed to wean in(and how!). The guy with the sexy smile is back at the coffee shop. About time, I should think.
For weeks now, I havent been able to sit quietly, harness my thoughts and put them into words. I guess this post was long overdue. So here goes..
Firstly a sincere note of thanks. To The G for putting up with my myriad tantrums, for blog buddies who`ve become friends and friends who`ve become family. You all know who you are :)
Secondly, an apology for the late acknowledgement. But needless to say, its been the high point in my life - all the awards that have been been so lovingly bestowed on me. Whether I deserve all the acclaim or not is a major food for thought (which I will happily never dwell upon!). So allow me to graciously accept all the awards with open arms. No acceptance speech ready. But lots of hugs in tow.
* Piper takes a bow, walks around the stage waving and throwing kisses in the air(Hollywood style, no less!) *

I`m taking the liberty of bending a few rules here(so what`s new!) and not doing a proper post on the Brilliant Weblog Award. I`ve already done one before. But my heart-felt thanks to D, NC, Roop, Sunshine and Renu who all thought me worthy of the honour. Hugs.
I will of course continue to flaunt them on my blog.

The Best Friends Forever Gold Card is one of the best gifts I`ve ever received. Thank You People! You know, many a times on lonely afternoons, when nothing and everything seems to matter, I would often long for a friend I can share stuff with. Nothing special. Just a hug here. And a warm word there.
I dont anymore..
Its strange how nameless, faceless people can gel in so well. An easy camaraderie. A sought-for catharsis. A warm hand-clasp across oceans.
I hope that some day I shall get to meet all of you. Until then, Here`s to Us! :)

I have already received the BBF Gold card from people I would want to gift it to. But here`s my list all the same :

* Mystic Margarita
* Nostalgic Chica
* D
* Raising T
* Mira`s Mom
* Suki
* Roop
* Sunshine Gal
* Renu
* Apple Bee
* Jira

A Birthday Wish

Last night I had a dream. That I had managed to ensnare a royal eagle in flight, clip its wings and cage him for life. There he was, peering out of the cage in helpless anguish, nursing a broken wing now and then, longing to fly and dreaming of the day when he actually will. And I stood by,watching him silently suffer, endure, bear..
I woke up in fear. The fear was not because he would cease to endure. The fear was because he would cease to dream..
Happy Birthday, My Friend..
May you flourish.
May you always soar high like a royal eagle in flight.
May you be fully expressed.

I love you more than you`ll ever know.

Cant think of a title :)

Have you ever felt your limbs slowly growing cold, your face on fire, a deafening buzz in the ears and the mind going numb? Sometimes with pain, sometimes with anger and sometimes when gory memories from the past which you thought were long buried, suddenly jump out of their graves and come snarling at you?
In another hour I`ll be meeting an old batchmate and his wife over dinner. They`re here in town for work and I couldnt refuse. This batchmate, lets call him D, was never really a pal. Infact I dont remember ever talking to him much. But his best pal was my best pal of sorts for a while. I cant seem to remember why I agreed to meet him. But I do remember that I just couldnt refuse. Its not really as bad as I`m making it sound. D`s a cool kind of a guy and I`m sure he`ll get along famously with The G. But there`s something gnawing away inside.
It was raining in the morning today. I stood by the window watching the puddle form underneathe the window. In a sloshy heap. And I thought to myself, "How like me! One sloshy heap. Stagnant. With no direction home."
The rain continued to beat against the window. As if by furiously pelting down on it, it could wash the glass clean. But that doesnt happen, does it? Like the cold memories from the past, nothing ever washes away. And even if it does, the stains always remain, dont they?

p.s - Wish me luck for tonight, friends :)

Random Thoughts

Why are woman referred to as ‘the fairer sex’?

Why does the walk sign turn red the moment you reach the cross-walk?

Why does it begin to rain on a warm summer day when you`re planning a picnic lunch out with friends?

Why is it the windiest day in the city`s history ,the day you schedule an appointment at the hair dresser`s?

Why is the line at the restroom the longest when the bladder is ready to pop?

Why does a baby stop smiling the moment you click the camera shutter?

Why does the corner store run out of your favourite ice-cream, just when you think you`ll die without a scoop?

Why do late-comers in a theatre always have seats in the middle of the row?

Why is the boss late, the day you`re early?

Why do I hold a boiling tea-cup close and closer, knowing it`ll scald my soul?

Just wondering...

Back home..but not on track

Yes, I`m back People. It does feel a little strange though. Like it’s a whole new world. And I have to go back to the drawing board, redesigning again.

Today afternoon I decided I had to come over to the coffee shop at the University. That`s where I can get some substantial work done. So I did. But it felt strange really. I was gone only a month. And look what the cat dragged in, in this time. New faces all over the U. The normally empty bus crowded with strange, unfriendly faces. The gym teeming with freshers. Even the guy at the coffee shop(who incidentally has a sexy smile!) was gone! I`m feeling rather dismal.

Has it ever happened to any of you? You come back home, thinking you just have to pick up the threads where you`d left them. And lo and behold! You find those threads gone! There`s no comfort in the familiarity anymore. Because there isn’t much that is familiar anymore.

(* A melodramatic Piperish sigh* )

I, for one, am allergic to change of any sort.The G,on the other hand, loves to experiment. It could be anything really. Movies, books, food, meal timings. Anything. Even grocery stores for that matter. Which incidentally happens to be another thing that has me quite disconcerted. The G discovered this new Cub Foods very close to our house. So we`ll be turning that into our regular grocery store now. Which by the way, also means changing the brands of orange juice and milk that I normally consume. But of course, I have given in, grudgingly.

I like the brands we use now. I`m used to them. And although I`m not really a stickler for brand names and there`s nothing wrong with the ones available at this new store. Hell, infact the prices are even better here. But I hate the idea of change. Even if it means changing the brand of orange juice I have. You get the gist. Does that sound a little weird?

I know I`m probably being a little silly here. But I don’t quite like the idea of the campus being mobbed by a multitude of new faces in a new semester. All Chinese and Indians, by the way.

I wonder why I am so peeved. Is it because I always take badly to change of any sort, but shall eventually wean out? Or is it just a case of PMS? Or maybe, just maybe there`s a small fraction of me longing to be a part of a new semester, a new beginning and I know I cant really have any of that. Not right away, in any case.. Maybe that`s why there is some amount of disquiet in the mind. May be I shall be fine eventually.

Anyway, I leave you here with my rambling thoughts today. More later, when I`m feeling a little more coherent and bright.